8:00 PM
This is it. 2013 is the year!
It’s the day before the start of prayer and fasting and I
have decided to blog every day for the next 5 days to record all my thoughts,
faith goals, challenges, desires, and just this whole process to be able to
look back on this in a year or two… To be able to see what God has done and how
He has used me. I wish to see growth and spiritual maturity from now until the
next year and the next. The previous year, I did not want to participate in the
5 day prayer and fasting because I didn’t want to do it just because everyone
was… I wanted to do it for myself as a want. It has to be from the heart and
not forced. And then by the end of 2012, before Christmas, I knew I had to do
it. Why? 2013 is the year!
God actually spoke to me this morning during worship… it was
a little unclear and just broad but it was simply this: THIS IS THE YEAR.
Something is going to happen this year that will just alter my life forever.
Okay, it may not be something completely drastic but I know things will change
this year. It could be anything and my life won’t just go by and remain
stagnant. Exciting, right? And I just felt something in my gut specifically the
area below my heart near my diaphragm (for reals!!). It was weird… it was
something between a happy sensation and a nervous feeling. An anticipation, if
you will.
I am just believing God this year that He has my life all
planned and figured out. I just leave it all up to Him… I actually need prayer
in the surrendering part as well. Words are merely words when there is no
action done. I have to act it out in faith. Completely trust Him when I am
uncertain of what’s ahead. It’s scary but at the same time… it makes it much
more exciting. Your life just transforms from the moment you accept Christ as
your Lord and Savior. Nothing is ever the same again, I assure you. Although my
life isn’t much of a story to tell, it was a gradual change from 7th
grade up until now. What a wonderful journey it has been… looking back through
it all, my giving thanks won’t ever be enough. My life has to be lived out for
Him. It’s the only way.
For the last few days, I really thought about what exactly I
am fasting for. In the beginning it was just broad because I really wasn’t
sure. Most importantly, I want my relationship with God to grow deeper and
consistent. That would be my number one faith goal. To be able to connect with
God on a supernatural level than I ever had before. This is exactly what this
prayer and fasting is all about. It’s really starting this year right and to be
able to carry the momentum after the fasting.
Going on a tangent, last month while vacationing in
California, I started eating and eating to my heart’s desire! Consequently, I
gained 20 pounds. It’s crazy and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the
scale. Something had to be done. So not only am I going to work out and
seriously exercise every day, I’m doing this fast partly for my health. I want
to get rid of habits and create long lasting ones that will get my body on the
right track again. Without the emotional stress. I mean, I was able to lose the
weight before but it was the stress from school and emotional stress that
drained me causing the weight loss. It wasn’t healthy. I want to be able to
lose the weight in a positive manner involving exercise and moderate eating.
So speaking of eating… Since I’ll be in the hospital for
most of the day for 3 of the 5 days, I will refrain from eating out at restos,
fast food places, and tea places. I will still need to eat because duty can be
so draining. I love food, if you don’t know me. I love eating at interesting
cafes and new restos that I never watch how much I eat. A diet doesn’t exist
for me. Not eating out will benefit me a lot because I’ll definitely be saving
money, which is also another problem I have had for quite some time already. A
lot of my allowance goes to food, therefore I go beyond my budget at times. No
bueno.
This is the perfect fast for me because those times I won’t
go out will be spent with God in prayer and in reading the bible when I can. My
focus will no longer be on food since the word will be my food:)
I shall conclude my post here.
Because sleep is very much important and needed as I am
still on that jetlag.
Blogging to be continued on the first day of prayer and
fasting.
Godspeed!
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