1/15/13

January 11, 2013


12:30 AM

It’s amazing what fasting can do… I mean, you would think that only eating one meal would leave me starving the whole day! It wasn’t the meal that kept me going the whole day… it was the focus and determination. And most of all, it was by the amazing grace of God. I couldn’t have done it by my strength alone. And the fact that I really wanted to do this helped me to ignore my craving to eat. It was almost like wanting to win a bet… see how long I can go without buying food outside.

Prayer started at 7 PM (imagine, I lasted the whole day without lunch and dinner!) and as soon as worship started, my hunger and appetite went away for that whole time. Of course, it is very important to at least hydrate yourself throughout the whole day. So, I had a bottle of water:)

My prayer tonight
Lord, You know the desires of my heart… my deepest, innermost secrets that only very few know about. There is one person who has been on my heart and will probably be forever in my heart as he was my first love. More than anything, I would like for him to be back home with his family. And I truly believe it will happen sometime this year. Your prodigal son will return and I pray for a renewal of his mind, a complete turn-around to see what he has done. May he forgive his family and also to boldly ask for forgiveness in return. Lord, there was promise that has been placed in his life and I believe You will show your faithfulness and overflowing love for Your will to be done in his life. And when that moment comes, he will have an empowering testimony to share to future believers. Most of all… I pray for your perfect timing. For I know this will not happen overnight or a few days because Lord, You have much more to reveal to him before he goes back to his family. I still care about him deeply… I still consider him my friend even though throughout all this time, he never bothered to contact me. And I know this is for the best. It has helped me move on as time progressed. Praise You Jesus for getting me through this! I am so much better than the very first few weeks I was here in the Philippines. Lord, you are the healer of broken hearts!

To be honest, there are moments where I find myself thinking that we’ll be back together again and to pick up where we left off. And then I remind myself that I only loved what we were before and the person you were at the time was the one I fell in love with. That isn’t the case now. I’m left with the memories to cherish that will hold a special place in my heart. But when the time comes that I meet my future husband, those precious moments will be long gone.

Actually, tonight… he wasn’t on my mind as soon as prayer ended.
Well… all I will say is that someone else has entered the picture.

Lord God, You alone know my future and who will be that person to ask for my hand in marriage one day. I am patiently and happily waiting for that day to come. Lord, I also pray that I may be that person he has been praying for. I’ll admit that it’s a fear of mine. That when I finally meet him, it might turn out that I’m not the girl for him. I think that would just break my heart if that does happen.

Only time will tell. Prepare me, Lord God… prepare me for him.
You are the Author of my life and I know only You can provide the perfect love story.
May You be the center of our lives and just lead us.
Thank You Lord!

Come what may, I will continue to praise You.
I pray these things in Jesus’ name.
AMEN.

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