I know I've never been married let alone even been in a love relationship. So what do I know about relationships and marriages? I know well enough how much pain this kind of separation brings in not only between a man and a woman but this also affects the whole family. At the age of 7, I had not even the slightest clue what that word even meant. No one told me. I don't even remember what my reaction was back then when me, my mom and brother moved into an apartment away from my dad. I don't remember what went through my head because I was just in my own little bubble thinking that everything was normal. It wasn't until an episode on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood that I learned what this separation was. And all throughout elementary school, I was hurt but I only expressed it through different situations. I would cry over the littlest things whenever my feelings would get hurt. When my parents no longer lived under one roof, I had no reaction but the reaction was expressed elsewhere. Because I didn't have the chance to verbalize how I felt, I would find other reasons to cry. I was avoiding the real reason. That's my theory at least.
The truth of the matter is, choosing to separate from your spouse is just heartbreaking to kids like me. It wasn't until the 6th grade where all my emotions were just let loose. I was expressing how hurt I was feeling from something that happened so long ago.
But you see, God had a much bigger plan for me and my family. And this was something of the past that I've already come to terms with and moved on. It has also become a lesson for me when I decide to even enter a relationship because I don't want that at all. When my mom accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior, that was a defining moment for me. God healed and restored my heart and it was a process that took some time up until I myself accepted Christ into my heart at the age of 14. The way I see it... there was a reason my mom had to break away. If she had not done so, I would not be who I am today and I would most certainly not be where I am today.
My past has given me a testimony allowing me to share this message about how valuable marriage is. How serious a relationship with someone is. Upon entering high school or probably my sophomore year, I chose to "kiss dating goodbye". I chose to not follow and conform to the dating patterns of this world in order to save myself for that person I will marry some day. I'm saving my first kiss for my future husband.
Having this relationship with God for all these years has shown me that there is this love that does not even compare. Having known this kind of love that is without condition just fills me up. It has taught me that I do not need a guy to complete me or to be happy. I was actually told by some that the way I am makes it seem as if I have a boyfriend! Well, yes, I am loved and I'm thankful people do see that so that they may see the love of Christ. And for all these years so far that I've been waiting, I still have hope that I will marry my best friend who I will grow old with. In fact, He already knows who I will marry! And I pray that I may be prepared for the day I may enter into such a relationship, that season of courtship.
Divorce should never be an option. I know my mom made that choice which was years before she came to know the Lord. And now I know I will not enter into a love relationship if I know I do not see myself marrying that person. I would not want to find out years after I'm married with children that I made a big mistake. Therefore, I will wait. This takes a lot of faith and prayer but I believe in His plan for me. It seems impossible but it's impossible for those who are not patient and do not have Jesus in their lives. When God is not in the center of the relationship, people would naturally resort to such separation. Instead of giving it all up to God, they just give up.
I praise God for friendships and the people He has put in my life. As I am waiting for that season of courtship to come, it is best to just enjoy the friendships and only time will tell who it will be. Why not love everyone right? After all, Jesus has bestowed upon us His love to share to others... it does not need to be with that person you will marry otherwise you don't know what love really is!
Anyways, I can go on and on about this topic (I always seem to write lengthy blog posts when it comes to matters of the heart) as it is my favorite.
Happy Sunday!
Just one more week of break!
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