Life isn't easy and there are times where I find myself forgetting that. Living in a sheltered home and a city where the crime rate is low, I am a spoiled young lady, in all honesty. I remember my best friend straight up telling me that and I couldn't bring myself to admit it. So here it is, I am spoiled rotten. There are people out there in the world who have less than I do or nothing at all. I know Thanksgiving already passed but the giving of thanks shouldn't end there. Christmas is that time of the year to give thanks as well. Every time I pray, I give my thanks to the One who provides, my one and only Savior, Jesus Christ. and may I say, thank You for being born. Thank You God for giving Mary a baby Jesus. My life wouldn't be as it is now if it wasn't for his birth. There wouldn't be a death on the cross and resurrection to save my life. I don't think my mind can ever fully comprehend the fact that He suffered so much for me. I take it for granted.
What made me want to post at this hour when I should be asleep is that I'm slowly learning to accept the things I can not change. Situations with friendships in particular. It's really difficult to maintain close relations with friends! I want to keep in touch but family and church come before friends. It makes me sad sometimes. And I really can't control it... I can't just drop everything for one friend or another. I have responsibilities and priorities (which I really need to know the importance of) that I can't just leave alone. I want to do my own thing, yes. but right now, I don't think I can do that until I grow up some more.
It pains me to lose touch with some of the greatest friends I have made these past two years. Even those in my senior year of high school. I wish I could just keep all of them. But I'm reminded that I can't live to please everyone. it's too much for a person like me to even take on. I would burn out and cry. I have to focus on me with my relationship with God. Am I doing that? Is that my priority? What's placed in my heart is what I want to do in life. What career path I should take. and I am ready for the hardship I will go through in a few months. I am ready for that road less taken. My heart is definitely yearning for something new in my life. I want to breakaway and I couldn't help but think of that Kelly Clarkson song. It's not even time yet and I have already separated myself from people that are my close and really good friends. It's sad, but life has to move on, ya know?
The only constant in my life right now is GOD. I am truly thankful that He is the one Father in my life that will never leave me. I wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't know why I am living here on this planet. I will keep pushing on. I will fight against the upcoming current that will be blowing my way in the next few months. Whatever will be, will be.
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