After watching Hitch, or any movie with romance that makes me go "aaawww", it reminded me that i have no boyfriend. actually it reminded me that im not crushing on a guy and going head over heels for a boy. what the heck. practically a year ago i was going nuts over this guy and now i feel nothing. i don't have that obsession over a guy. i guess it's finally happened. over the years i'd pray to God to remove these feelings because i really didn't like have them! it took me over and it would be the only thing i would think about. i would be thinking about the guy. and it's finally happened. sometimes i miss being that boy-crazy girl. to be honest it makes my life more interesting. a friend would ask me "so rachel, any guys in your life? anyone you had your eye on?" and she wouldn't believe me when i say "none". deep down, i wish there was. i worry sometimes that i'll never find that special someone if i keep this up. i feel like a completely different person with no boy to think about. it's crazy.
I guess God is saving me for someone. well, only He knows who i'll be with for the rest of my life. and that's what i've always wanted. that's why i don't mess around with guys. that's why i had no boyfriend at all in high school. i don't want to go through the heartbreak after hearbreak. it's a waste of time! i know you probably want the experience to know what it's like but it's not worth it for me. there's a book (that i haven't finished reading but i've already learned so much when i read 5 chapters of it) I Kissed Dating Goodbye and it's a real eye-opener. and it explains everything. that's when i decided i want my first boyfriend to be the person i marry. it's a long shot but i have faith. it's not impossible with God. so i recommend this book and when you do, read it again.
i've heard good things come for those who wait. well i'm willing to wait however long it takes to meet that person i'll one day marry. i'm willing to wait 5 or 10 years. maybe longer. it's not easy but it will be worth it in the end. i'm still young. i've got the rest of my life.
2 comments:
exactly what i've been thinkin'. i always tell people who don't know if they should date or guy or what not...i always say "if you can't see yourself marrying him, then what's the point?" i mean you date to find the guy you marry, right? i always thought my first boyfriend would be my husband too. =]
im glad you see it that way too! i never actually encouraged my friends like that ("if you can't see yourself marrying him, then what's the point?" kind of thing) i could go on about this stuff... i actually i have 3 other posts that are similar to this. haha. and they're wayyy longer.
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