Chicken and Fries

:] yes
I finally ate a chicken sandwich at this place
and it's my first time





oh how i very much miss my sister:( it's been what seems like 2746897 years and she's growing up without me. it's sad. but im really looking forward to seeing her for christmas. yay:]]]] i wish i could see her more than just on holidays. so why san jose, dad? i miss her and the way she says my name. she couldn't say her r's before... well i don't know about now. maybe she'll get it right when i see her. she's going to be so smart like me. man is she lucky to have me. i've always wanted a big sister to show me the ropes because of course as the oldest i have to find out things on my own. it's really made me a stronger, more independent person. it's great. but tough. I was looking at a school that's pretty close to where my dad lives. but i shall see if i get accepted. if not, then i can just forget it. i already go early acceptance to the college of my choice. but i'm still open to the other colleges i applied to, to see if i get in. but most likely, im pretty much sold at APU. I'll see where God will take me. He's already laid out my plans and the path i should take. I've been praying for my future since freshman year and it's finally been answered. things might change but only because it's in His will.

So my dad isn't too happy with what I will major in college.
Music.
i know money will be an issue, but that shouldn't be the drive of what i'm going to do in life right? if i'm going to be a nurse, i would be doing for the money not because i want to save lives. i can't see myself in the hospital. i can't even take care of my dog! yeah i know there was no relevance to the point i'm trying to make. my dad laughs at me being a born-again christian. he kind of looks down on that. i know deep down that he's proud of me and what i have accomplished but somehow i feel that whatever i do is not enough for him. why is it so difficult for some dads to even acknowledge our achievements? i really don't hear a "good job" or "you did your best" or "i'm very proud of you" all the time. i wish i did. i might be exaggerating but really... both my dads... step dad too... are very passive when it comes to expressing the way they feel. am i just too american? what is it that makes them this way? at least my step dad is doing better. he and my mom are starting to respect the decisions i make especially about college. sure, they still make suggestions and comments here and there but all i can do is listen and digest. the parents i live with now are the best support they can be. and i pray that my dad will understand me better. im happy now that i'm communicating with my real dad better. im talking to him like im 17 and not 8. for all the times i would see him every weekend, i would be a little afraid to speak up for myself and tell it to him straight.

with kids of his own, it'll be like starting over again. maybe he'll be a better dad with his own son and daughter and realize what he did wrong 9 years ago. i really hope tres and julia get the love and compassion they really need when they go through those stages of growing up. i love them so much.

alrighty.
g'night.
God bless♥