Kiss me in the rain

Everytime I hear the rain, it makes me want to stay indoors and watch The Notebook and possibly cry. The rain is truly music to my ears. Although I really dislike the rain for making my socks wet and having to dress accordingly because of the cold and wetness. Also I'd have to carry around an umbrella. :]

I want that "Notebook" moment someday. And when I meet that special someone, I'll be sure to tell him. If he's really the love of my life, he'd know that I want something like that. right? I always have a set scenario or story plot to my love life... in my dreams. As a hopeless romantic, that's what happens. Sometimes I get it confused with reality. silly right? It's really hard saving myself for someone. Sure, I won't get hurt and won't experience the heartbreak, but I still get hurt because I long for it. It's never easy. In my past life... as a child... my mind was filled with thoughts of boys. I paid a lot of my attention on some guy I crush on and it comes on strong. Once I fall, I fall pretty hard. That's why I hurt easily. I thank God I'm not the same sensitive shy girl. I was extremely, terribly sensitive. I'm still sensitive and emotional but I can control it a lot better than before. I guess I'm a little bit smarter so I see no point in crying over things like that. I know better. Good things come for those who wait. So maybe if I wait a few more years, that guy God is preparing for me will be who I've been waiting for. does that make any sense? of course he won't be perfect or exactly EXACTLY the man of my dreams, I'll just know when the time comes. my heart is rushing but my mind is telling me to be patient. or rather my conscience is telling me to wait and telling me that "it's not right". I'm so grateful for the love He's providing me. because now i want to use it and show His love to others. Because of His love, I want to live it well and to the fullest. And one day, where I least expect it, that guy... that soulmate will be there. of course it won't be like the movies where it takes 2 hours to get to know the person and then you're together ever after... no. friends first then lovers. the thing is, friendship is forever and it doesn't necessarily mean it's not with your boyfriend or girlfriend. your boyfriend/girlfriend has to be your best friend. that's the very foundation of a relationship. a lot of the time I'll see lust. and that's all that's there. it's not love. because if it's love it wouldn't last for a few months or years... it's until death do us part.

The other day during lunch i was sitting with my friends at our secret (yeah not really) lunch spot and we saw our GLC talk to a couple that's always hanging around by the lockers(ish) making out and no conversation whatsoever. so yeah the GLC broke it up and they were just sitting there staring at the wall doing nothing. it's so funny how there's no talk! because all they do is just make out! I guess that's high school right? or at least high school in the movies. that couple are just kids. so young and too young for serious relationships. me and my friends thought it was pretty funny though. PDA these days. not necessary.

Odd

ok so I might not be an expert on this because of my lack of experience but man have I been seeing the weirdest couples lately. I mean some people can do way better. haha, maybe it's because I can't see it from that person's point of view but still! Sometimes the girl is too good for the guy or the guy is too good for the girl. I guess it's pretty shallow judging relationships by how they look but I know the people... it's not like they're complete strangers. Teenagers... we're so young and we don't know that there's so much for us and we don't see it now because most of us live for the moment. I see a lot of girls give theirselves away way too easily and it makes me disappointed. The thing is, I'm happy when they're happy but what happens when they get hurt? In my head I ask, "then why did you even start in the first place? And why do you keep getting yourself into this when you're only going to get hurt again?". it's really sad I have to admit. Guys these days need to realize how precious, beautiful, and frail girls are. No matter what they've gone through or what horrible things they've done. whatever the case, girls are special and should be treated well with the utmost care. Guys who see girls like that are the true gentlemen. I go around campus and see plenty of PDA. it makes me wonder if they show enough unconditional love and compassion to people who are not their girlfriend/boyfriend. most of the time, no but who am I say? I believe a successful relationship always need that strong foundation of friendship. Whether it's before dating or during, it's always present. That's what makes it last, rather than the typical "I like you, you like me, let's be together". yeah. That's just how it is in high school, right? there's nothing that can be done. it's out of my control.

Wise man say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you - Elvis Presley

Music really plays a big role in this. Songs on the radio about love and sex give people the reason to get themselves into a relationship. Imagine not hearing those songs at all on the radio! I don't think people would know about problems with relationships especially with the younger generation. I would understand when it's older teenagers in high school... but 6th graders!? or maybe even younger! oh goodness. yeah... it's not even a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. heck, it's not even puppy love. haha. I really like how some people only have the cute, puppy love of the relationship and not the other part that should come with it. And that's the thing! relationships in high school is only puppy love and then when it gets boring, there's a breakup.

I keep complaining about having a boyfriend... it's like "then why don't I give it a try and stop judging?" if I get into it I'll end up trying to change the person to fit him to be my ideal boyfriend. So there's no point in trying at all. So i'll wait until college. or better yet after college. I want the REAL thing. HA, whatever that is! there's too many boys... I want a MAN. haha yes that's my answer. boys in high school are too stupid. ok let me rephrase that... as teenagers, we're still growing, especially when we're christian. We have to grow in faith and in love and getting into a relationship will only weaken your growth in your relationship with God. Also in order a relationship to work, other than friendship, maturity needs to be present. Everyone is at a different level of maturity... and that's what makes me see odd couples. sometimes one is more mature than the other. it's like... there are way better guys out there for you than the one you're with right now!

I'm making myself sound like I don't want a boyfriend. I have my moments where I wish I was in someone's arms but my mind is telling me that's just lust. it's wrong. There isn't a day where I don't find myself wishing I have a lover. It's all because I see it all the time. Movies, celebrities, TV shows, books, everywhere. But thank God I found the the greatest love. It gives me a reason to not feel sad to be single. I love being single! ;] no obligations whatsoever to any guy.

Love is patient, love is kind...