Almost Every Time

... I look at pictures of my friends without me in them, I get disappointed.
I feel left out.
like I'm not a part of their lives.

wow, that was a bit dramatic. but it's the truth... and it hurts.
for awhile anyways. it doesn't take too long thankfully.

There's sacrifices I have to make right? Being a part of and active in a church did that to my life a few years ago. I'm spending more time with family than with friends, which honestly is a good thing but part of me wants to hang out with my friends more. it's pretty complicated.

God is slowly pulling me away from that. Actually He's been doing that since my junior year of high school. He's been taking away the unnecessary things in my life. I'm not saying that my best friends are unnecessary, no. it's just I'm not spending too much time out with my friends as much as I wish to be. He's reminding me what's important and putting me into focus. I would probably be lost if I did everything that I WANTED. if God wasn't there through it all, I would be more of a mess than I am now.

I have to live a life that's pleasing to God and not to anyone else. of course, I have to decide. Lord, show me the way. I'm not perfect, and you know that. I'm selfish and insecure but You are everything to me. You make my life complete, whole. I know I won't lose my friends because they've been with me since 10th grade. I may not be there all the time but they'll always welcome me with open arms. open my eyes to your blessings. help me see the glass half full and not half empty. Because I would rather be positive than mope about it. Thank You for friends, new and old. friends who aren't even close to me. friends who are acquaintances. There's a reason why they have been put in my life for even a moment.

help me keep in mind that YOU are my one and only TRUE friend that never fails.